


You poured out honour like a fountain, all around you

by Zahri



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, How much treason can one family contain, It all comes down to blood and flames, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Sozin's Line and the Dragon Throne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 02:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21292457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zahri/pseuds/Zahri
Summary: A dutiful son follows his father’s wishes. An honourable soldier follows the commands of his Fire Lord. Zuko’s honour is forged over time, in ash and in flame, in blood and in blades.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 305
Collections: avataner, avatar tingz





	You poured out honour like a fountain, all around you

One of Zuko’s first memories is of that night. His mother, burning a hole in the side of the building, pushing him through, as she ordered their guards “Take the children and run”. 

Her long black hair, glittering with the flames dancing around her, as she fought off the soldiers coming with swords and knives and fire and orders. As she cut down assassins to cover their escape, his elder brother bleeding out at her feet.

He remembers running and stumbling and picking himself up and shoving his hands into his mouth so he never makes a sound. He remembers Azula’s whimpers to be let down, of her guard holding out a flame for her to bat at, to keep her quiet and focused.

It is his first and last memory of Ursa. She doesn’t make it out.

* * *

It’s not treason if it’s on the orders of the Fire Lord.

* * *

Zuko is six and in the audience on the day his grandfather, Azulon, defeats his own brother Zoran in an Agni Kai. He is dressed in Imperial Red robes, sitting beside his father, Lu Ten on his other side. It is the first time he has been in public, dressed as a true firebender of the Imperial Household. Azula has been judged still too young to attend, tucked away in a safe room with her nurse and guards, the last remaining Imperial Princess.

The now former Fire Lord is bound on his knees in the middle of the room, hissing and spitting.

“You accepted a viper into your household and set its spawn among your descendants. They will betray you. You cannot control the dragons – they are plotting against us all.”

Azulon stands above him, eyes hard, flames leaping behind. “Agni has judged that you were wrong. And you missed. You took my daughters and my daughters-in-law and some of the children. But my sons still live. Each of them had an heir escape. The line of Sozin has left you with nothing but ashes.

“You tried to kill my family. Your treason can only be purified in flames.”

Azulon summons Zuko forward. He is six and has only just thrown his first sparks. Zuko stares into the maddened eyes of his great uncle, the man who had tried to kill his whole family.

Azulon looks down at him. “You are a firebender, Zuko. Agni has declared his actions to be wrong. You have the honour of the first flame.”

“Strike, little dragon. If you dare while you wear my colours. My uniform on a child!” hisses Zoran.

Zuko balls up his fists. This is for the honour of his family, for the honour of the Fire Lord, for the death of his mother and his brother. He will do his duty. He punches forward, flames hitting his great uncle’s torso, searing into the skin. The scent of burnt meat starts to rise. 

Lu Ten is next. Then his father. Then Uncle. Finally, Grandfather.

And over the ash and the charcoal corpse of his great uncle, Zuko kneels and then prostrates himself before Azulon, swearing his personal loyalty as fourth in line to the throne.

Normally, he would not be required to give his formal, personal loyalty to the Fire Lord until he is old enough for military service. These are not normal times.

* * *

Uncle Iroh and Cousin Lu Ten are sent out to subdue the Earth Kingdom’s latest rebellions, to the great fortress city of Ba Sing Se itself. There cannot be any hint of dissension in the Fire Lord’s family, Zuko’s tutors teach him. Fire Lord Azulon holds the throne. The Fire Sages and Agni himself have blessed his rule. But it is better that the other peoples see a single united front, else they will try and rebel. So, the Crown Prince himself is abroad, leading their armies, bringing honour to the Fire Nation in his father’s name.

Zuko is still so small. And Azula is hot on his heels, bending earlier and faster, mastering forms while he is still being taught them, looking up with sparkling eyes at their father for acknowledgement.

Azula ever seeks approval in their father’s eyes. And Ozai gives it to her. To Zuko, he only ever gives his disapproval. Your brother had mastered this form. Your sister follows in his revered footsteps. Why did Zoran’s death squads leave me with the useless son, when my heir lay dead with his mother?

Zuko is used to being a disappointment. To feeling that he burns through the respect of those around him, until it lies wasted at his feet. To being the useless heir. He should be better. He will be better. He has a family to live up to, the ghost of a perfect brother to live up to, to show that he is worthy.

And Azula? Azula discovers that if she behaves like the perfect Imperial Princess, nobody will question a training burn, a too tight grip leaving bruises on Zuko’s arm. Weakness is not allowed among Sozin’s heirs.

* * *

Lu Ten is dead. 

Lu Ten is dead and Uncle is in mourning.

Uncle has brought home Lu Ten’s ashes, to be placed in their niche beside his mother’s, in the family shrine. Uncle Iroh kneels before them, weeping, as he takes down his topknot and slices away his hair, placing it upon the brazier with the other offerings. Zuko cuts away some of his own hair too, to add to the offering. He misses his cousin, who had been a buffer between him and the sneers of the Court. His reputation as the useless, slow heir is being whispered more often in the corridors.

They whisper in the corridors about Uncle Iroh too. To be so unlucky as to lose a son. To lose his honour, withdrawing from the siege at Ba Sing Se against the orders of the Fire Lord. 

Uncle Iroh lights the brazier with a touch of his fingertips. The smoke drifts upwards, towards Agni, curling around urns like a dragon, touching each of them before escaping towards hole in the ceiling through which the sunlight glitters.

Zuko watches it quietly. There are so many urns. So few heirs.

* * *

Fire Lord Azulon summons his remaining heirs. Zuko kneels to the right of his father, Azula on his other side. Uncle Iroh, still in deep mourning, is beyond Father.

Uncle begs Grandfather’s forgiveness. He moved to save their forces. He withdrew them to safety, to stop spending more lives like water, to protect them from further attacks from the earthbenders. He apologises for the loss of his son.

And Zuko tries not to hyperventilate. He remembers blood and ashes and blades in the night, the flames behind him as he fled. The honour of the Dragon Throne is fed with blood and flame. Uncle? Uncle has not upheld his honour. He has broken his word to the Fire Lord.

Azulon stares down at Zuko and Azula. 

He questions them on their lessons, their training. Azula shows up well. Zuko...doesn’t. He has never been quite as quick, quite as talented as Azula. He is particularly distracted today by his worries over Uncle, who is sitting still and quiet as he watches both the children.

Azulon dismisses the children. Uncle asks to return to the family shrine, and Grandfather gives him leave. Father petitions for a further audience. 

Azula pulls Zuko behind a pillar as Father reminds Grandfather that Uncle Iroh no longer has an heir, that Azula and Zuko are still here, still his children.

Azulon rages. “Iroh has suffered enough,” he tells his son. “Iroh has just lost his last child while fulfilling his duty to his family and to the nation. You, who have stayed here safe in the palace, cannot question his honour. Your suffering and punishment has only just begun.”

As the flames of the Dragon Throne flare, Zuko flees in terror.

* * *

Azula always lies. Azula tells him that he is to be sacrificed, as recompense for Lu Ten’s death and Father’s presumption, to restore the honour of the family. Zuko does not believe her, but he has been waiting for the blades and the blood to return his entire life. When brother fights brother, children are lost.

That night, red tints the moon. Zuko shivers in his bed, despite the flames in the fireplace. The next morning he wakes to find his Grandfather died during the night. A stroke, people whisper. At least it was fast. Zuko feels frozen to the bone.

* * *

Father is proclaimed Fire Lord. It was Fire Lord Azulon’s final wish, he tells the Fire Sages. For a strong continuity of Sozin’s line. Iroh has agreed, Father says. He wishes time to mourn his son’s death.

Zuko tastes ash in his mouth. Nobody questions anything.

* * *

Zuko learns to fight with blades, so that he can defend himself, no matter what happens. He works in his lessons, on his drills, yet still Azula surpasses him, more and more. 

Uncle supports his efforts with the swords. Father does not. He is shameful; it hurts the family reputation for one of their number to appear not to trust that he can defend himself merely with the power of his firebending.

Zuko does not care. His mother had defended his life with a blade.

A military career, the whispers start to mention around him. It is a fit and proper place for a son so keen on fighting. Ozai should prepare to send one of his dragon heirs from home, to help defend the throne, to finish this war.

The whispers eventually lead to Zuko begging his Uncle’s help in entering the war room, just to see what it is like.

* * *

You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.

* * *

A dutiful son follows his father’s wishes. An honourable soldier follows the commands of his Fire Lord.

His father has promised that he can restore his honour, restore his reputation, restore his place in the family. He just needs to find the Avatar.

And so Uncle Iroh takes him away into exile, barely conscious, his shame already scarring his face.

* * *

His father is wrong. Zuko does not learn respect. Zuko learns about honour and loyalty and duty. 

He learns loyalty from those who owe it to him, and from those he gives it to. It is part of the fire of life, connecting people to each other.

He learns duty island by island, nation by nation, as he crosses the world. He learns his actions have consequences. He learns how and when and why to obey.

He learns he does not care about his reputation, about the whispers on the wind. They are simply words. If you live, if you keep going, a step at a time, one day you will outlast it and it will all fall away.

He learns he cannot be given back his honour. It must come from within himself; he must gather the shards himself and forge it anew in the flames of his own actions. And, as he kneels before the flames of the Dragon Throne, in ash and in blood, swearing his loyalty to his people, he realises:

He has outlived the bastards.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic owes a great deal to the Vorkosigan series and is the outcome of a discussion of Aral Vorkosigan’s honour, and me realising that the parallels to Zuko are very strong. VERY STRONG INDEED. Surely Ozai wasn’t the first member of the family to get involved with strategically taking out various family members to improve his prospects for the throne. 
> 
> So. Have some more trauma in your backstory, Zuko. You needed to kneel in ashes and blood to realise that your honour comes from within you. It cannot be gifted by anyone else. Reputation is what other people know about you. Honour is what you know about yourself. Guard your honour. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards.


End file.
